The Flourish Studios Blog » Copywriting

Does the writing on your website sell? Or does it just describe you?

Fiona Humberstone — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:42:50 +0000

When your potential clients look at your website what do they see? An engaging and inspiring paragraph about how you can solve their problem? Or reams and reams of text about your business, how long you’ve been trading and why they should use you.

Writing powerful copy is always underestimated. Why? Because we all feel that because we can write, we can write copy that sells. That’s simply not the case. All too often company websites are littered with “we”, “us” “our” more than they feature “you” “your” “you’re”. I’m on a mission to change that and bring you in more business!

Join me for a Copywriting Workshop on Thursday 11th Feb at the Talbot Inn, Ripley and I’ll show you how to write more powerfully for your business.

5 Simple Steps to writing more powerful copy

Fiona Humberstone — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:38:19 +0000

The sad truth is that most business writing fails to pull a response. Often it's self absorbed: focusing too much on the company's history and 'benefits' rather than what the client really needs. Sometimes it's too generic and doesn't ask for a response. And sometimes it just misses the mark that the reader (assuming they get to the end…) is left thinking "so what?".

If you're going to invest your time and money in marketing your business then it's essential that you maximise your response with powerful copy. I've recently written an email for my Copywriting Workshop on 24th September that's already pulled in 18 sales from just ONE email. Many people running workshops struggle to sell more than three or four full price places. So how did I do it? Let me share the formula with you. You can choose whether you come and learn how to put it into practice on the 24th or whether you use this process to simply improve your own copy. Whatever you do, please do let me know how you get on!

Five Simple Steps to writing more powerful copy

1. Focus: establish what you're trying to achieve

2. Find the pain: Use SPIN (situation, problem, implication, need) to get to your client's pain. Argue with yourself or a friend to get to the root of the clients problem and how you solve it. Once you/ they can "feel" the pain in your gut you know you're on to a winner.

3. Create a powerful Headline. I have a formula for creating 13 different types which I share on the copywriting workshop. If you don't have that, write as many different types as you can.

4. Use AIDCA to create a strong structure: Attention (the headline), Interest, Desire, Conviction, Action. I've put plenty of AIDCA explanations on the blog…

5. Review, revise, chop, take a break. Rinse and repeat.

Do let me know how you get on! And if you'd like some feedback on copy you've written – either with or without the help of my winning formula then book a place on the Copywriting Workshop on the 24th September and you can claim free feedback and two weeks of free email support while you sculpt and tone your winning copy.

It’s the last copywriting workshop of the year!

Fiona Humberstone — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:24:00 +0000

Does your writing win you business?

Simple, powerful copywriting techniques to help you sell more

Most websites, leaflets and emails are so badly written that they lose companies business. Can you afford to miss sales opportunities at the moment?

As a business owner you’ll probably spend a lot of your time writing. Wouldn’t it help if you knew some shortcuts to more profitable results?

Gain confidence in your ability and learn how to sell more just through your writing.

Join us for a Copywriting Essentials marketing workshop in Ripley, Surrey on 24th September and you’ll discover how to write to sell. I’ll show you how others get it wrong so that you don’t make the same mistakes, and I’ll give you all the tips, tricks and techniques I employed to get one of my clients a 24% response rate through their direct mail campaign.

You’ll leave with an armful of notes, a head full of ideas and complete confidence that you now have the tools to be able to create writing that sells.

This is one of our most popular live workshops, book now to secure your place! http://www.marvellousworkshops.co.uk/copywriting.html

Here’s how others have benefitted from this workshop:

"Very concise, informative and useful."
Aaron Salins, University of Surrey Students Union

"I came away with a stock of superb headlines and the absolute confidence that this weekend I can create a powerful sales letter. Money and time well spent."
Stephen Hillier, Hillier Associates

"The '13 headlines' section is potentially life changing!"
Matt Pereira

This is my last copywriting workshop of 2009! Make sure you book your place today and get your business ready to gain more business.

Book online at http://www.marvellousworkshops.co.uk/copywriting.html

I look forward to seeing you there!

Why does most copy fail to pull the response it should?

Fiona Humberstone — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:07:30 +0000

Leaflets or website not bringing you in enough business?
Don’t be too quick to blame the design. It’s just as likely to be what and how
you’re saying what you’re saying! Here’s my list of the top 7 clangers most
businesses make when creating copy and how to avoid making the same mistake
yourself.

It’s
boring: your leaflets or website
might be repetitive, full of jargon or just plain dull. Whatever the root
cause, the reader just switches off and you lose out. Write with passion,
style and energy!
Because
it doesn’t ask for a response. If you
write to let your customers know about something: a new product or service
you’re offering, then the chances are they’ll take on board what you’ve
told them. And take no action. Why? Because you haven’t asked them to do
anything! Send people a letter to tell them you’re now offering
‘threading’ and you’ll get very little response. Send them a letter asking
them to book a threading appointment before the end of the month to get
something free/ half price and you’ll see your response rate skyrocket.
Why? Because you’ve been clear about what you want.
It’s
too short. I’m not advocating reams
and reams of text, but the bottom line is that there are certain steps you
need to walk your reader through if you want to sell to them. You wouldn’t
sell someone a diamond necklace just by waving it under someone’s nose
without saying anything would you? Use AIDCA to mirror the face to face
sales process and get a better response.
Because
it goes in the bin before you’ve had a chance to sell. Whether you’re writing for your website or a
leaflet, your headline is absolutely key. You need to grab attention,
build rapport and make sure your reader reads on. All in one sentence.
Easy!
It’s
self-centred. Your customers don’t
want to know about how brilliant you are: they’re busy people. They’ll
switch off and do nothing if you don’t grab ‘em by the balls. Your
customers want to know how your brilliant product or service will solve a
problem they have. Think solutions to problems!
It
fails to build trust. So often the
reader is left thinking: it’s a nice idea but how can I be sure I’m not
making a mistake? Reassure people with testimonials and money back
guarantees.
It
leaves people thinking: ‘so what?’.
Powerful copy leaves people wanting your product or service. Sometimes
you’ll do that with a fabulous discount, other times with a compelling
reason to buy, like the fact that writing powerfully will bring you in
thousands of pounds more in revenue. Or perhaps the reverse psychology,
that not writing your sales copy properly is losing you thousands of
pounds in revenue! Whatever technique you use, be sure to really make
people want your product or service.

Writing powerful copy isn’t a dark art. It’s something every
business owner can achieve: especially if you attend my Copywriting Essentials
workshop! Book your absolutely risk free place today at http://www.marvellousworkshops.co.uk/copywriting.html

My promise to you: Attend the
workshop and you don’t feel that it has added any value to your business then I
will refund your money. No quibble. Book your place online today. I look forward to seeing you
there!

Americanised, dan kennedy style copy. Lots of shouting and hyperbole – the only copy that works?

Fiona Humberstone — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 09:17:55 +0000

I've blogged on this before, but as I now have a lot more copywriters following me via twitter I'd be really interested to know what you all think.

This morning I received this link to a page by Paul Fuggle, guru of Total Business Cart.com and the shopping cart I use for my workshops. Now I know from experience that this is a great product. And I'm sure Paul is a very nice, professional guy.

But there's something about the writing and this 'anti-design' that really unsettles me. It feels cheap, unprofessional, and to be honest, a bit of a scam. And I know it's not, because I use the product, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for an autoresponder or shopping cart. But this style of writing is, for me, completely undoing my trust in the business.

If you visit the site, just take a look at the two logos next to eachother – 1shoppingcart looks like a professional, trustworthy system while the logo on the right just doesn't have the same impact. And that's the problem with ignoring design, you start to erode trust.

But I'm genuinely interested to hear from others – is this style of Americanised, shouty copy the only way to go if you want to sell a lot? What do you think?

Writing copy for your website? Don’t we all over the internet!

Fiona Humberstone — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 09:52:41 +0000

One of the biggest mistakes lots of companies make when writing for their website is to write all about themselves. Well, newsflash! Your clients don't want to hear about you on your homepage. They want to hear all about the solutions you provide to help them with their problems. So think from a different angle. Instead of telling people all about what you want them to hear, try telling them about what they want to know. There's a big difference!

Writing a sales letter? Don’t confuse readers with more than one call to action

Fiona Humberstone — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 09:58:44 +0000

When you're writing a sales letter you need to be incredibly focused on what you want people to do. Want to write a letter to introduce your business? Great, go ahead! But don't be surprised when you get no response. Why? Because you haven't asked for a response.

Powerful sales letters are focused. The writer starts by thinking about what they want the audience to do. That might be to book a workshop, a meeting or a free consultation. It might be to visit a website. Next, you need to make sure that what you're asking people to do is realistic. Want someone to buy a £10,000 diamond ring on the back of a sales letter? Possible, but more realistic would be to invite them to look at your website, which will then do the next part of the sales process.

Most of us go wrong but putting in several calls to action: "buy this book; book a consultation with me and maybe come on one of my workshops while you're at it". It's confusing, overwhelming and won't get a response.

So next time you're writing a letter, pick just one action, and stay focused! You'll reap the rewards.

Copywriting – it’s the difference between telling people about something and compelling them to take action

Fiona Humberstone — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 09:47:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago I had an email from a client asking me to quote on some leaflets. And as always, I couldn't resist having a quick read through her copy. It's like an addiction for me. I simply cannot stop reading copy and thinking about how I might improve it. Some people choose drugs, others alcohol, mine is copywriting!

The copy that Amanda had written was very typical of a piece of copy any client might send to me. Take a look at what she'd written:

BEFORE

TAGSTRAP

This simple
wristband could be your part in ensuring
the safety of other peoples children!

Is the
Responsibility yours? www.tagstrap.co.uk email: info@tagstrap.co.uk tel: 0844
579 1048

Tagstrap is
being used in schools across the UK as a preventative measure
against road traffic accidents when transporting young children
away from main school buildings, i.e. daytrips, nursery
outings, etc. It has been
priced in line with school budget constraints to allow
schools to reinforce their health and safety message not only to parents,
but to recognised authorities.

Health
& Safety – Be Proactive.

Can you see the problem? We could have designed this leaflet and made it look very nice. But six months down the line Amanda would have been disappointed that the leaflet hadn't made her any money. Why? Well let's look at what's wrong with the copy:

what is she asking people to do? Order? Well then say so!
What is the relevance of the responsibility question?
It's simply not compelling enough.

So here's what I wrote instead:

What price would you put on
the safety of a child?

It would probably be more than £3.10 wouldn’t it? So what if
we told you that you could keep up to twenty children safe on the roads for
just £31?[FA1]

Tagstrap: because children’s
safety matters. www.tagstrap.co.uk

(somewhere on the page but not below the strapline above)

“Since we started using the Tagstrap safety system our
staff have found it much easier to manage the children, and I know that parents
feel much more comfortable about the children going on outings now.” Sandra Smith, Principal, A Big Chain of Nurseries
(ie – Amanda you need to find a testimonial! Or someone that is happy to put
their name to this one…) Testimonial – working on it

Tagstrap is a brand new road safety measure that enables
you to keep groups of children safe when you’re out and about.

Children up
to the age of 9 don’t have the skill and ability to be safe in traffic on their
own. They need the help and guidance of an adult. But the practicalities of
managing groups of children on outings with their own curiosities and energy
levels is quite a different story!

How it works

You
attach each child securely to an individual blue tag strap

Each
tag strap is attached to the master strap

The
adult attaches themselves to the master strap, safe in the knowledge that all
children are connected

No
running off, no dawdling, no kamikaze stunts! Children can move the straps up
and down the master strap, but can’t take them off once connected

Tagstrap
makes it much easier and safer for you to manage groups of children on outings

Benefits of Tagstrap

Peace
of mind – the children are attached to
Tagstrap so they are much easier to keep safe on the roads

Freedom to take the children on outings in crowded
situations because they are safely connected to Tagstrap

Reassurance
for parents that you take road safety
seriously

An
incredibly cost effective way of showing
your commitment to children’s safety

Easier
to manage the children: because the
children are physically attached to you, you have much more control over where
they walk and the speed they walk at.

High Visibility master strap helps others around
you see your group

Demonstrate your commitment to safety to
regulatory authorities and improve your potential assessment

What it costs

Master Strap: £15

Individual antibacterial, waterproof tag straps £1.60 each
(available in multiples of ten).

Bulk discounts also available. Please call us to discuss
your requirements.

Order your Tagstrap today! And start benefiting from the
peace of mind it brings.

Visit www.tagstrap.co.uk or call us
on 0844 579 1048

**Special offer** Order your Tagstrap before 31^st
March and receive FREE P&P (worth £4.00).

(Chloe: can you put something on the page like a British
Flag and put Manufactured and Designed in the UK – only needs to be very small. We also need the kite mark (or whatever the relevant mark)
and these words Conforms to European safety standards – BS EN
13210:2004) Chloe: we need a NEW! in a
circle somewhere on this page – a bit like M&S do with their stuff!

So why will this work so much better than what was written originally? Because it gives the reader information. It explains the benefits and it gives the reader a compelling call to action.

A lot of our clients struggle when it comes to knowing what to put on their leaflets, and just how to make them work effectively. In response to this we've created a Promote Your Business workshop, which will give you Five Simple Steps to Creating More Effective Marketing Literature. If you're interested then check out www.marvellousworkshops.co.uk.

In the studio this week… A brand identity for a new Italian deli, antipasto and sandwich bar in Guildford

Fiona Humberstone — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:10:10 +0000

What do you think of the leaflets we've just created for Vero Cibo? I'm particularly proud of them because it's a brand we've created from scratch.

Vero Cibo is an Italian deli, antipasto and sandwich bar that's going to be opening at the end of the month. And it's all systems go to create a fabulous website, blog, marketing materials and lovely handpainted signs. I think one of the most rewarding parts of this whole project is the fact that Nick of Vero Cibo is so utterly passionate about everything they're doing. Vero Cibo is founded on a very solid, very genuine philosophy which really comes across when you meet him and come into contact with his business.

It's this genuine-ness and passion for real food that makes working on this brand such a pleasure. After all, we all know that branding is about more than just creating pretty pictures: it's about the equity behind those attractive images. And here is one business that has a very proud and strong brand equity.

Do go and check them out on 21st March – the food looks delicious!

Wow! Thanks Bernay!

Fiona Humberstone — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 09:51:00 +0000

Over the past couple of months we've been working with the very fabulous Bernay Laity at in:colour. in:colour is the UK's leading colour consultancy and helps individuals and companies communicate more effectively through colour. I have to say, it's been absolutely fascinating stuff, and we shall be signing up to Bernay's next Colour in:communication course!

Anyway, my point is that we've been helping Bernay overhaul her website to make it much punchier – both in terms of the design and also the copy. We've designed the site to be much easier to access, and also much more search engine friendly. We've also thought at every point about the end goal – what is it that in:colour want people to do on each page? Where do we want them to go next?

I've (almost) finished writing the copy for Bernay, and Rob and Caroline are putting the finishing touches to the design and this popped into my inbox this morning, so I thought I'd share it with you.

"I am so excited at the potential that the fresh new and engaging copy combined with the new designs will offer which will open I believe, many new doors for the business. And I want to thank you and all the team involved so much for all your hard work! It’s brilliant!"

Bernay Laity, in:colour

The in:colour website is currently being finalised, so you won't be able to look around it just yet, however you can see the original above and a sneak preview right here, and I shall post as soon as it's up and running as I am very excited about getting this one live.

You can have a poke around Bernay's current site at www.incolourconsultancy.com.

If you'd like your website to win you more business (and who doesn't in this climate!) then talk to us about our "Copywrite My Website" and our "Help Me Market My Business Online" services. Initial telephone consultations are absolutely free of charge and without obligation. You can find out more at www.guildfordmarketing.co.uk.